I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
You took a bar mat shot.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
