DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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