Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
