I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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