Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize