i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.