I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
