Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later