you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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