You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize
