why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
