Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
