I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
