Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
you told grandpa to call you daddy
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
