He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
