i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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