i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
