Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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