I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
