He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
