Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
