i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize