you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize