update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
