i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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