the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
