and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
