she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
