We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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