i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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