First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I forget how to act sober
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
