guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
