he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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