There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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