This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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