Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Why are your pants in the freezer?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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