Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
