her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
