where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Sorry about my life...
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
