You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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