note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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