Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
