Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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