Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
