I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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