you're like a bully in the Christmas story
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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