thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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