whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
