Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
