im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Panties = found
Randomize
