So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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