I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
