I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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