My girlfriend figured out who you are.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
how does that bad decision feel?
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