i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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