I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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