the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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