is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
