haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
