I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
