There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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