FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
